Real stories · The Santa on our front door

Two minutes, one ribbon — and suddenly we're the Christmas house

One ribbon, two minutes, and Christmas is on the door — that's the whole of it. I'm 67, and for years our Christmas decorating has been a fortnight of negotiation: the loft ladder, the tangled lights, Malcolm's annual speech about the gutter hooks. Every year the outside of the house got quietly skipped, because the outside was the hard part.

What I wanted was the festive front door without the expedition.

Then I found the Elvyran from a British label called York Boutique — a large fabric panel, 90 by 180 centimetres, showing Santa from behind, apparently climbing our door with his boots and gloves out at the sides. It is, and I say this fondly, completely ridiculous, and it makes everyone who walks up the path laugh.

The clever part is the corners. Each one has a ready-made eyelet, so it ties on with ribbon in minutes — no nails, no tools, no ladder, no speech from Malcolm — which is why ours was up before the kettle had boiled. The fabric itself is a sturdy woven sort that shrugs off weather and folds back into a drawer in January, flat as a tea towel.

Eyelets, ribbon, two minutes — the festive front door without a single trip to the loft.

At £19.95 — half the usual £40 — it cost less than the lights we break every single year.

It has been up a week on a trial run and has already been photographed by two grandchildren and barked at once, thoroughly, by Winnie, who has not yet forgiven the boots. The postman said it was the best door on the street. I did check before ordering that I could send it back if it looked cheap in person — you can, within a fortnight, and the delivery's free — but it's staying.

If your Christmas decorating also starts with a loft ladder and a sigh, do have a look. The Elvyran is rated 4.8 out of 5 by more than 260 customers, it's one generous size that fits a standard door — and Christmas things ordered in October arrive calm; the ones ordered in December arrive frantic.